Regarding Gay Marriage…
Today was a big day for anyone who is gay. ”Acceptance and equality may finally be upon us!” etc. etc. I found the entire thing rather tiresome, the uproar, the hype, the incessant red photos and the insistence that anyone who didn’t post one was a bigot… ”We are beyond this,” I thought. ”So much energy wasted on what will be a complete non-issue in a few years…”
…And then my sister in law posted a message on Facebook that stopped my heart, a message condemning the movement, and proclaiming her Christian values, her pride over denouncing everyone’s red photos and outcries for equal rights. I realized right then how much of an issue this still is, just how important those silly red photos really are, and how very much they should mean to me, and anyone else who has ever been told he, or she, is condemned, or is less than what they are, for merely being who they are.
I decided to share the letter I just wrote to my sister, in hopes that anyone else might be able to share it with someone in his or her family posting similar protests on Facebook, who may not be able to find just the right words. Please feel free to use mine, as they are yours as well. They are ours.
…And to anyone posting a silly red photo today, you are a fucking hero.
“Hey Ashley, just read your post, and instead of writing a passive aggressive status myself in response, I figured I’d just reach out and write to you directly. Suffice it to say, reading those words you posted stung deeper than you could possibly imagine. They truly, truly broke my heart.
I’ve endured a lot in my life, but at the end of the day, I’ve learned from all of it. I’ve learned that family is the greatest source of love of all. The loyalty, acceptance, eagerness to accept differences, all of it, is incomparable to any other kind of love on earth. I consider you my family. You ARE my family…
I suppose I just wanted to say that I hope someday you might be able to think on this issue a little more, a little deeper, and think of your family… I hope you’ll think of me, a guy who considers you a sister (and believes you regard him as a brother as well), who is gay- a guy who never had a choice in the matter, a guy who strives to live every day as a good person, who prays every single night to the same lord and saviour that you do, who loves you and thinks of you as his family, who loves your daughter with all his heart, and that maybe you might see things just a little differently.
You’re about to have a son, have you ever thought about how you would feel if in fifteen years or so you found out that he was gay? Would he be afraid to tell you? Would you ostracize him, tell him that you wished he was dead, as my parents told me? Or would you hold him, tell him that you loved him, and assure him that some people were just made differently, and that ultimately, God still loved him too? Odds are, you won’t have to have such a conversation, but have you thought about how you would react if you did?
I love you very much. I most certainly don’t want this letter to resonate as malicious or angry or anything of the sort. I guess I was just caught so off guard reading such a message posted by a member of my family that I didn’t know what to do besides reach out and share my feelings openly.
I truly hope that one day you can feel differently about this issue, about homosexuality in general. I hope one day you can see past what a respected pastor might have to say about it, a pastor who may not have firsthand experience with homosexuality or gay family members, or is running from something himself, and come to another conclusion about how God would treat a gay person. I hope one day you can realize how much pain is caused to people, real people, people who love you, with statements like the one you posted today.
Anyway, I love you. I’m an open book if you feel like chatting. If not, I understand.
Can’t wait to meet the little guy.
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