Robots, Laser Guns, & Legos

Ground Zero- a journal entry (read this @Frankmusik )

Ground zero: a blank slate, the beginning, an empty space on which to build the foundation of something great.

On Friday I found out that the video I’d been preparing to shoot had been cancelled. The funding had fallen through, and powers much higher than myself had pulled the plug indefinitely. I’d already alerted my supporters of the impending shoot, broadcast the happy news on Twitter, but, lo and behold, the proverbial carpet was once again pulled from under me (as is so prone to happen in the world of music and especially in the realm of the aspiring popstar). Suffice it to say, I was devastated. Yet another setback in the longest, hardest road I’ve ever embarked upon (and as a cancer survivor I can tell you that those are heavily weighted words indeed).

“Simon,” my manager, David began on the phone “you’re an artist at ground zero…” The conversation continued much further beyond that point, but those words in particular stuck out to me. “Ground zero.” I’d performed professionally since I was 10, written music since I was 16, starred in a movie that was supposed to have launched my music career when I was 23, released my first album at 24 (which established the beginnings of the most incredible, loyal fanbase in the world), my second at 25 (which charted on Billboard and the top 20 pop albums on iTunes in 12 countries), and here I am, at ground zero. To say that the music industry is humbling is an understatement.

Last night, my friend Vince (Frankmusik) experienced one of the biggest nightmares a recording artist can face: half of his forthcoming album leaked. Two years of work, just…out there… for people to own, for free, after a few mere clicks of a mouse. I truly cannot even begin to fathom what it must’ve felt like to have woken up and realized what had happened. All that work, all the blood, sweat, tears, and dreams- the word “gutted” surely cannot even begin to accurately describe the feeling.

I just now finished reading a series of Vince’s posts on Twitter- disheartened, disillusioned, gutted (that word again), and this is one of the most talented people I have ever met. When you work in entertainment and live in LA you begin to have friends in all sorts of different points in their respective careers- some already on top of the world and some fresh off the bus, wide-eyed and so naive you want to hold them and send them home out of love, so that they don’t have to experience all of …this. There was a point when I thought that a record deal was the goal. “I can’t wait until I get signed” I used to say. Now that I have friends who are living this “dream” I realize that it is, for most, an even bigger curse than not being signed at all. Spend years working on music to never get a release, always in fear of getting dropped, and an even more terrifying fear of the A&R person who signed you getting canned (effectively leaving you in label limbo Hell until a team of lawyers can use up what’s left of the little advance you might’ve been lucky enough to get in the first place in order to get you out of the whole mess completely… Two years after you signed, without ever having released an album)… Leaving you once again… At ground zero.

However, despite the setbacks, despite all of the naysayers, all of the myopic, narrow-minded schmucks who “don’t get” a male singing pop music this day and age, I am excited. I have signed with a manager who is such a perfect fit it took me 6 years to find him, I have started to build the most incredible fanbase in the entire world, I have performed sold out shows in new York and London, I’ve charted on Billboard, the holy grail of music, all on my own.

I suppose my point in writing all of this right now, is not to lament the horrors of the music industry, or share some woe-is-me sob story, because I am not in a state of woe. I am elated. I’ve had it so much better than so many others who’ve attempted to achieve what me and so many others have attempted to achieve. I thank God every single day for the gift of life and for the gift of being able to shape my own destiny, and you should too. For we are all able to achieve. It only requires foresight, vision, and relentless dedication.

So if you will excuse me, I’m going to go grab a big ass hammer and forge the fuck out of my destiny… Starting at ground zero.

—-Simon

Ps. Cheer up Vince. You’re a God.